


Operation: Find Out if Stiles is a Virgin

by day



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Crack, M/M, Pack Feels, Stiles isn't a virgin, Virginity, liking sex doesnt make you any less of a person tbh, scott's a doofus and he spends most of this drabble laughing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-14
Updated: 2013-04-14
Packaged: 2017-12-08 10:55:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/760546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/day/pseuds/day
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles doesn't know why the pack thinks he's a virgin. He's really confused.<br/>--</p><p>“How many people have you slept with?” Allison, who has been trying to get Scott to breathe this entire time, asks.</p><p>“Men or women?” Stiles asks and that's apparently not what they were expecting judging by the way they're all choking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Operation: Find Out if Stiles is a Virgin

**Author's Note:**

> wrap the willy before doing the silly!  
> (i shouldn't be allowed to write, i'm just gonna go now)

It starts off with a condom.

Scott crashes into the Hale house with wide eyes and frantic flails. “Isaac wants to have sex.” He blurts.

Stiles chokes on a laugh and the rest of the pack just groans. “I thought you've been doing that for a while.”

“We've fooled around, but we haven't gone all the way.” Scott whines. “He's heading to my house with Allison right now and I'm going to puke because I don't have time to go to school and get condoms and I don't want to buy them--”

“Dude.” Stiles laughs. He pulls out his wallet and hands Scott a foil packet. “Here. Our dicks should be the same size.”

“Ew.” Erica scrunches her face and covers her ears.

“It's probably been sitting in his wallet for a while.” Jackson muses. “Check if it's expired.”

“It's not.” Stiles sighs, “I restocked yesterday. Take this too.” Stiles tosses Scott a small packet of lube. “Fuck him dry, and even manly men cry. The wetter the better, dude.”

Scott hastily thanks him and runs off and Stiles goes back to reading his book, back against Derek's legs.

He doesn't notice the way everyone is gaping at him. It starts with a condom, and since then, the pack goes out of their way to put Stiles is awkward situations to find out if he's a virgin or not.

They play truth or dare. Stiles gets dared to kiss someone who's not Derek (Derek is about to rip Jackson's nipples off for suggesting it) and Stiles doesn't even get flustered as he pulls Erica in for a wet kiss.

“Holy shit.” Erica blurts. “Has Derek been teaching you?”

“I haven't kissed Derek yet.” Stiles shrugs. He gets up to use the bathroom and Erica and the others profoundly apologize to their alpha while Derek broods.

They don't know why they're so curious of Stiles' sexual promiscuity, but they are and it's just so weird because they were almost 100 percent sure Stiles was a virgin and now it's dwindled down to 80 percent.

They asks Scott. “Is Stiles a virgin?” Lydia asks.

Scott starts laughing really hard and then starts wheezing and they don't get an answer out of him.

They keep trying to figure Stiles out and even Derek is getting curious. He's been with Stiles for a few weeks now, but they've been taking it slow (Stiles only kissed him after sticking his tongue down Erica's throat and even then it was a chaste closed mouth kiss). Derek thought it was because Stiles wanted to wait but now he's not so sure which one of them is being waited on.

Stiles is perched on the kitchen island eating cereal, oblivious to everyone's stares, when Boyd finally sighs. “This is getting out of hand. Stiles, are you, or are you not a virgin?”

Stiles pauses mid chew, slowly lowers his bowl, swallows, blinks and finally scrunches his face. “Uh, what do you mean it's getting out of hand?”

“We've been trying to figure out if you're a virgin or not!” Erica throws her hands up. “We know you haven't done it with Derek, and you never dated before him, but you don't even get flustered when kissing people.”

“Maybe he just watches a lot of porn.” Jackson muses out loud. “That would explain how he knows so much.”

“Dude.” Stiles says.

“Yeah, that explains what he knows, but like, how come he's so... confident?” Lydia raises an eyebrow.

“What.” Stiles chokes.

“But if he wasn't a virgin, he'd have fucked Derek already.” Isaac adds.

“We're taking it slow.” Derek snaps, flushing. “I'm not going to rush him.”

“Wait, what?” Stiles puts down his cereal. “You think I'm a virgin?”

“Are you?” Derek asks hesitantly. “You seemed to want to take it slow.”

“If I was a virgin, don't you think I'd have jumped your bones the first chance I got?” Stiles scratches his head. He has no idea whats going on. Scott is cracking up on the floor, wiping his tears and everyone is gaping.

“So you're not a virgin?” Jackson asks in frustration.

“Oh my god.” Stiles puts his head in his hands. “Why are you so worried about my state of virginity? Why is this even a topic? Have you all really been spending these months trying to figure that out. Dude. I- no, man, no.”

“No what?” Isaac asks.

“No, I'm not a virgin!” Stiles exclaims. Scott loses it at this and he starts wheezing, curling in on himself and gasping for breath through the laughter.

“Scott, what the fuck.” Erica kicks him.

“I just-” Scott wheezes. “oh my god.”

“So you've had sex before.” Derek furrows his brows. “Huh.”

“I was going slow because I thought you didn't want to do anything yet.” Stiles frowns. “If you wanted to have sex, you could have asked and I would have put out.”

“We've been dating for 3 weeks.” Derek deadpans.

Scott falls off the chair he had just righted himself on. He flails and falls and Stiles glares.

“Dude,” Stiles sighs. “It's not that funny!”

“What?” Lydia sighs. “I have a headache. I don't know what's going on here.”

“I don't either.” Stiles admits.

“Stiles is very promiscuous,” Scott finally composes himself enough to wheeze out.

“I'm not a slut.” Stiles rubs his face. “I'm very open sexually, but yeah. I didn't know you thought I was a virgin. Jackson, you should know I'm not.”

“You had sex with Jackson?” Lydia's eyebrows shoot up.

“What? Gross, no.” Stiles shakes his head. “I've had sex with Danny.”

Jackson's mouth is unhinged and he's gaping and Stiles really doesn't know why they're all so shocked. “Dude. What is wrong with you?"

“How many people have you slept with?” Allison, who has been trying to get Scott to breathe this entire time, asks.

“Men or women?” Stiles asks and that's apparently not what they were expecting judging by the way they're all choking.

“Well girls, only like... 3 or 4? Guys, uh, I don't know. In high school it was only Danny and Seth?” Siles shrugs.

“Lee, too.” Scott reminds.

“I had sex with Lee?” Stiles scratches his head.

“Well, he reeked of you that one day after lacrosse, so I thought you did.” Scott muses.

“Dude, no, I would have remember if I had sex with Lee. He's a screamer, I always remember the loud one.” Stiles thinks.

“After highschool?” Derek asks, face blank.

“Stiles brought home a different person every night before he got together with you.” Scott snorts. “The amount of times I was sexciled is depressing.”

Everyone goes home in a state of confusion. Even Stiles.

“You really thought I was a virgin?” Stiles turns to Derek.

“I thought you wanted to go slow.” Derek hums against Stiles' neck.

“Would you prefer me to be a virgin?” Stiles asks.

“It doesn't matter either way because you're mine now.” Derek grunts. “I don't really enjoy the idea that so many people have seen you naked, but that's mostly because I'm possessive and I haven't even seen you naked yet.”

“It really doesn't bother you?” Stiles makes sure. “I've had sex with a lot of people.”

“No.” Derek assures. “It makes me feel better to know you're experienced and comfortable with your sexuality.”

“Well.” Stiles muses. “Just so you know, I've always been the top.”

Stiles gives it a moment to sink in.

Derek pounces.

**Author's Note:**

> STILES ISN'T A BLUSHING VIRGIN HEEHHEHEHEHEHE  
> if you like sex and have a lot of sex, all the power to you, dudes.  
> use a condom though and remember to be safe yo


End file.
